Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match
( The Matchmaker Song- Copyright Fiddler on The Roof Lyrics)
How time flies!! It seems like we are already in August and now heading towards the time of the year when nights draw in and thoughts become sometimes less sociable and less inclined to going out. Social networking sites must surely this year be looking forward to a high degree of rising traffic, as well as the online dating and meeting people sites both of which have become social interaction elements for all, young and old.
Now no longer are we asked to remain among the company of those we see regularly at work or at play, we can talk to people from every corner of the world and not only learn but also react and even in some cases arrange to meet, from the comfort of our own homes.
I remember Facebook in the early days being so much more a site where kids would rush home from school to get on to chat to friends, a private conversation where voices are not even heard, and how people became aware the internet could now link you with people you dont see everyday as well or those you may not have seen for so many years you could only wonder where or what they were up to. Now all these technological breakthroughs have opened a wealth of opportunities to those who are either by choice or restriction but are needy of company from their own home and such a wonderful world of communication has been opened out.
As a reader and working in the communications industry and also in the relationship and partnership industry I can also feel and highlight the other sides whereby Facebook is mentioned so often as a tool of discovery into what a partner or someone who is fantasised about is up to, and how it can be almost used as a silent spying connection and how it has an interaction into relationships in general where "my partner spends his time chatting to someone who he says is just a friend" comments are becoming more and more frequent.
Make up or break ups have taken on a whole new computerised look to them and even in advice emails and texts are the constantly used means of keeping in touch with people - this has good and bad effects, very often there are questions left unanswered, words misread, or in the worst cases, total blocking of communication and some people are left bereft almost in worse situations than they were when a phone call or face to face meeting bluntly put all the facts before them. There is a whole new world out there of communications which rely on what is seen and almost in opposition to being open and honest in feelings some of these sites have encouraged a degree of hidden messages, fantasical situations and time lost when people do not have the time to sit and even try to discuss where the relationship is going wrong.
Where dating sites promise "the perfect match" presumably by some "perfectly developed program" and all persons are supposed to be honest and upfront about their situations there are still many occasions when the "internet love affair " can seriously blow out and leave broken hearts in many burnt out pieces which are just as scarring as the situation where someone is stood up on a date at the local bar. I do actually think the whole dating and online meeting system is a good one, it opens out a wealth of possibilities for those people who may not have the courage to go out and mix socially where their confidence levels are still a little weak, or where the locations themselves may not be readily available. The idea or concept of finding and discussing and learning about a person before they meet and the likes and dislikes being matched up is in essence half way there to finding a long term partner. It is as always open to abuse by those who do not realise that the person the other end of the line is a person not someone they can just block or disconnect like an old radio or television to allow in the new one to take position. Some people who use this site are still at a vunerable stage and maybe enter into them without proper thoughts and can build a fantasy or fairy tale around lovely words and comments without the real substance of body language, smiles and even interaction of eyes - of course this is not to be generalised and in many cases the people who use them and have done so successfully would argue that it is about using the site for as much as you want out of it. Working as I do with many who have relationship issues, I do see a trend of problems which did not exist before the internet and can only speak as I find.
Where it all goes from here who knows, the webcam connections will allow a little more of physical interaction and certainly the plus points of the shy and retiring person stuck within their four walls who now has 1,000 "friends on Facebook" must be a bonus in these developments, the idea that we no longer have to take the chance in the local clubs to meet someone who is about as close to us in personal interests as a spanner to a wooden spoon (although both tools of a trade) and that the next person we meet is in fact interested in the same values, ideas and aspects of life that we are must equally help build confidence rather than make people insecure or in the worst cases depressed that they will never find anyone for them, there are definite signs that the whole interactive industry in relationships is here to stay and definitely for the right reasons should do so, do they take away the magic of fate inspired meetings? or how we view the whole fairytale meeting of the soulmate we are waiting for is another question for another time, for now we must accept their growth and their involvement in the future-
How people view them and position them in their lives perhaps should be a point relevant to the next school curriculum and syllabus review!
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